Woes of a Grammar Nazi

I’ve always had a tendency to correct people. A tendency to make them do things the way I believe is right.  

I have a soft corner for language. More precisely, grammar, punctuation and pronunciation.

I am a captive of a habit of correcting people’s pronunciations and grammar while conversing. Well, I don’t always do it out loud. But I do it. Every time I am in a conversation, regardless of the age or profession of the other person.

I have also been said to suffer from an “OCD for correct grammar and pronunciation” by friends. If internet trends are to be believed, what I am is best defined by the term “Grammar Nazi”.

I cannot bring myself to recall the inception of this concern. This very intense concern about how human beings use their tongue and teeth, their ink, to instigate words. The concern about whether the words are coming out in the right order or not. The fervent concern pertaining to the beauty of language being harmed. In totality, my mind has been occupied far too much while reading, talking, listening. Occupied with observing carefully, sometimes too much to actually focus on the matter.

I’ve never despised this need of mine. In fact, I enjoy this a lot. A lot. A <space> lot. Yes there’s a space. It saddens me to the core to see people type “alot”. No space.

I cry inside. And then there’s the you’re/your dilemma. Each time I see such blunders, my heart weeps. My heart weeps for the future of humanity. The dark, dark future that is coming onto us.

The internet is witness to the ignorance of certain humans in terms of grammar and punctuation. Also, there are books by budding Indian authors that have too many grammatical errors to have actually got published. It’s a shame. What does all this boil down to? Why aren’t we updated with the modern rules of basic grammar? Grammar is such an integral part of language that you cannot afford to lose its essence while conversing or writing. Does it come from bad schooling?

There are so many factors. But if you read enough, you gain this intuitive sense of grammar. Just by reading something, even without thinking hard, you can sense there’s some mistake. That’s what a lot of us are missing. Let’s not blame our teachers.

I did not have that good an English teacher at my high school. While solving grammar exercises, he used to give wrong answers to the class, and I used to have an argument with him every now and then. At times, he would be offended. But, well, there’s no age bar for learning, right?

Growing up, I’ve learned how to not point people’s mistakes out. I’ve understood that it might be hurtful or rude at times and might make me look like a total show-off. I just wish they comprehended my intentions more positively. I’m glad my friends have become comfortable with this habit. I make fun of their pronunciation habits without the fear of them being offended. There’s this friend of mine who  pronounces “here” the same way he pronounces “hair”. And I enjoy this bit by asking him to say “here”, “hear” and “hair” and then compare them. One day I saw this post on a popular Grammar page on a social networking site.

                               

From this I made up a lame little joke. The background being, the friend is an ardent debater.

“When you are in favour of an argument, you say “here, hear, hair” out loud!”

I laughed, and laughed. A sadistic, satiating laughter.

My grammar madness is built by such random little acts.

I do not mean to offend. It is just a small part of my personality that derives pleasure from being able to criticise others’ activities. From posts on social networking sites to phone messages, from e-mails to daily conversations, I am here to check.

PS : Just something close to my heart that I wanted to share. I don’t intend to come to a conclusion about this deliberation or to give remedies to anything.