Musings in Solitude

Disclaimer: The material in the article that follows is purely out of an emotional mind. No scientific or factual yardsticks to be held while reading.

Why can't we just let things go sometimes? Why can't we just sit back, look at the sky and get lost in it?

These questions hit me after a brief encounter I had with the night sky one day. Under the wide, wide sky, alone, silent. It was the night after full moon's night. A plethora of thoughts emerged in me after I came back. And I penned it all down.

The sky is beauty. We, lying down here, have no clue of what mysteries the sky holds for us. Spending time observing the sky, I realised that there the stars all different from each other. It is not possible to differentiate them as such but somehow, lying down, looking at them, I knew they were all different. Each one brighter than some other. Apparently different in sizes too. I sat there, looking with a hopeful gaze towards the sky. Stars, so many stars! I could make out one star from the other so well. It was enthralling to look at each one and feel connected to it somehow. I could see a star fidget around. It was a tiny bright little thing, moving to and fro, making me wonder if there were child-like human qualities in stars too!

Among all these tiny beautiful flecks of light, there stood - calm, silent, static - the moon. When I looked at the moon, I knew I hadn't seen anything more beautiful than that. I looked at it with a satisfying gaze. I wished for it to stay that way forever. Even though it wasn't an astronomically special day per se, I couldn't have found the moon more special. It was pure beauty. Peace in its real sense. Looking at the wondrous beauty of the sky, I did not want to say anything. Nothing at all.
Solitude is bliss. And when sitting under such a beautiful sky, I wouldn't mind being alone. I was calm, silent and full of thoughts at the same time.

Very few persons came to my mind. And of course they were the ones I loved the most. One of those, loved the sky, the stars and the moon just as much as I do. I called her and we together looked at the sky. The way she reacted, it was genuine happiness. I felt the same way, I reckon. But the difference was that she was much more expressive than I could be. Together, we noticed eyes and expressions on the moon's face! She saw the moon exactly the way I did. That moment was elating. The expressions of the moon were as if it was looking down at us with love. That moment where I could actually see those expressions look so realistic, I couldn't help but fall in love with it all over again. After my friend left, I was back in my solitude. I was emotionless, expressionless for a few seconds there. I did not feel anything. I was just there, looking at the sky, aimlessly.

I was spellbound. In love. Lost, and there, at the same time.

Woes of a Grammar Nazi

I’ve always had a tendency to correct people. A tendency to make them do things the way I believe is right.  

I have a soft corner for language. More precisely, grammar, punctuation and pronunciation.

I am a captive of a habit of correcting people’s pronunciations and grammar while conversing. Well, I don’t always do it out loud. But I do it. Every time I am in a conversation, regardless of the age or profession of the other person.

I have also been said to suffer from an “OCD for correct grammar and pronunciation” by friends. If internet trends are to be believed, what I am is best defined by the term “Grammar Nazi”.

I cannot bring myself to recall the inception of this concern. This very intense concern about how human beings use their tongue and teeth, their ink, to instigate words. The concern about whether the words are coming out in the right order or not. The fervent concern pertaining to the beauty of language being harmed. In totality, my mind has been occupied far too much while reading, talking, listening. Occupied with observing carefully, sometimes too much to actually focus on the matter.

I’ve never despised this need of mine. In fact, I enjoy this a lot. A lot. A <space> lot. Yes there’s a space. It saddens me to the core to see people type “alot”. No space.

I cry inside. And then there’s the you’re/your dilemma. Each time I see such blunders, my heart weeps. My heart weeps for the future of humanity. The dark, dark future that is coming onto us.

The internet is witness to the ignorance of certain humans in terms of grammar and punctuation. Also, there are books by budding Indian authors that have too many grammatical errors to have actually got published. It’s a shame. What does all this boil down to? Why aren’t we updated with the modern rules of basic grammar? Grammar is such an integral part of language that you cannot afford to lose its essence while conversing or writing. Does it come from bad schooling?

There are so many factors. But if you read enough, you gain this intuitive sense of grammar. Just by reading something, even without thinking hard, you can sense there’s some mistake. That’s what a lot of us are missing. Let’s not blame our teachers.

I did not have that good an English teacher at my high school. While solving grammar exercises, he used to give wrong answers to the class, and I used to have an argument with him every now and then. At times, he would be offended. But, well, there’s no age bar for learning, right?

Growing up, I’ve learned how to not point people’s mistakes out. I’ve understood that it might be hurtful or rude at times and might make me look like a total show-off. I just wish they comprehended my intentions more positively. I’m glad my friends have become comfortable with this habit. I make fun of their pronunciation habits without the fear of them being offended. There’s this friend of mine who  pronounces “here” the same way he pronounces “hair”. And I enjoy this bit by asking him to say “here”, “hear” and “hair” and then compare them. One day I saw this post on a popular Grammar page on a social networking site.

                               

From this I made up a lame little joke. The background being, the friend is an ardent debater.

“When you are in favour of an argument, you say “here, hear, hair” out loud!”

I laughed, and laughed. A sadistic, satiating laughter.

My grammar madness is built by such random little acts.

I do not mean to offend. It is just a small part of my personality that derives pleasure from being able to criticise others’ activities. From posts on social networking sites to phone messages, from e-mails to daily conversations, I am here to check.

PS : Just something close to my heart that I wanted to share. I don’t intend to come to a conclusion about this deliberation or to give remedies to anything.